Random Randomness #2 – Huh?

‘scuse me while I act dumb…

What the Hell is Red Dye #40– and more importantly, – what was wrong with Red Dye numbers 1 – 39?  Seriously, thirty-nine previous failures and I’m suppose to believe they got it right on the fortieth attempt.  Call me paranoid, but how do I know they just didn’t give up trying?  After thirty-nine previous failures who could blame them if the Development Team leader just cooked the books so he wouldn’t get fired.  With the way FDA regulations have been watered down and de-funded over the past twenty years I’m not sure anyone knows anymore.  It may have been the bees knees back in the day, (hey, look, it makes brown, rotted apples red again!), but is there anyone left on the payroll to make sure this is the same stuff they checked out back in the day?  Is this fake crap, the same fake crap it’s suppose to be?

And, another point here on the whole Red Dye food additive thing…, – and, this is just a suggestion here…,  (breath easy Congress, no need to act), call it, say, Marketing 101 for Idiots.  When you actually release something, such as Red Dye #40 – here’s a tip… call it Red Dye #1 — let us think you got it right the first time.  Install some consumer confidence.  I don’t want to have to wonder about 1-39, and the reasons they fell by the wayside.  I don’t want to think about #39, and how it tasted great, was cost effective and looked to finally be the one, – ya know, except for that pesky penis thingy growing out of the test monkey’s forehead.  I don’t want to think about that.  Humor me.

Not hatin’, just sayin’.


About paul nevins

Fiction writer, reader and baseball fan.
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