Random Randomness #11

There’s a lot of stories floating around out there in the ether, stories covering every conceivable topic under the sun, –everything from aardvarks to zucchini,  but you know which story you’ll never hear?

A riveting “drug addict” success story.

“…There I was, stuck in the mail room, slave to a dead-end job, wasting my life away.  I wasn’t going anywhere, nowhere at all… I was sad and alone and I felt like life was passing me by, in fact, at one point I had even contemplated suicide, but then a friend turned me on to smoking crack, and now look at me, –I’m the CEO of an International Communications Conglomerate, with all the money, power, prestige and women I can handle. Hell, I have homes, cars, jets and cash, –stacks and stacks of cash.  I tell you, my life is amazing!  THANK YOU MR. CRACK PIPE!!!

And, certainly not this one…

“…I used to be a pathetic lazy slob.  I’d sit around on the couch all morning, doing nothing but eating chips and drinking sodas while I watched all the various Judge shows, –and sometimes I’d be so comfortable, and so into my show, that I’d crap my pants because either the bathroom was just too damn far away, or I might miss something on the tube.  And, then, usually, after the shows were over, maybe I’d get up and surf some porn on the Internet for an hour or four, you know, same old-same old, day after day, –blah, blah….  But then one day my buddy Heroin Bob came over with a  syringe full of sweet liquid nod  and now look at me, I’m up off the couch, lifting weights and jogging twelve miles a day, -twenty four on Sundays, and I recently qualified  to represent the United States in both the decathlon, and the pentathlon at the 2016 Summer Olympics!  What a turnaround, and who do I have to thank.  That’s right, my ol’ pal Poppy!  Thank You, Mistess Heroin!

Those success stories, the ones you never heard before –they’re out there, right?


About paul nevins

Fiction writer, reader and baseball fan.
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